Have you ever felt like it was hard to make new friends as adults? I know I've felt that way in the past, especially coming out of the pandemic. And it's something I've heard from many other people in my community. ## From Group Dynamics To Individual Effort Early in life we made friends in the neighborhoods we grew up in, at the schools we attended, or we were introduced from a mutual connection. However, once we became adults those systems & structures that naturally gave us opportunities to make new friends seemed to disappear. One TikTok I saw recently summed this up by saying: > "The first rule of adult friendship is that it is now an individual sport. See, for the first two decades of your life friendship was a group activity. You were always with your classmates, or you were on teams, or with your roommates..." As adults making friends is less about meeting the people around you and more about seeking out the people you want to surround yourself with. ## Stay Flexible & Manage Expectations That same TikTok went on to say: > "Rule number two, adult friendship has to be flexible. People are going to come and go in your life because everybody's all over the place now. Which means, you've got to just focus on creating as many connections as you can and you got to let go of the expectation." I don't know about you, but this is also something I can relate to. After high school, friends moved throughout the country for University. After making friends during a summer in Chicago, I returned to school. And then after graduating, we all moved across the country once again. Thankfully, I am still in touch with my core friends from those years and we meet up when we can. But now I'm starting to see other life changes affect relationships, most often friends becoming parents. So this is a reminder to recognize current relationships will change and it's important to keep meeting new people. That's why I've made it a habit to try new hobbies in recent years. Each new hobby introduced me to a new community. And in those communities I made new friends, some of whom are now my closest friends. ## Make The First Move > "Rule number three, your most favorite people are the people you haven't even met yet. All you have to do is go first. You start making the plans. You start reaching out. You start asking people for coffee. The more you say hello, the more you go first, all of the sudden one of these days you're going to find yourself saying hello to someone who becomes your most favorite friend of your entire life." It's no surprise to me that some of the relationships I value the most started within the last 2-3 years. I'm grateful for the community I've built since the pandemic loosened it's grip on the world. But I still have the desire to meet new people. That's why I plan to continue introducing myself to new people moving forward. I'm excited to see who I meet and where our relationships go from there. ## Perhaps I Just Met You... If you're one of the people I recently met, then I'm glad you read this and understand my intentions. If you have the capacity in your life for another friendship, then feel free to [[Get In Contact]]. I would love to get to know you better!